Unfortunately, the idea of all-female bonding/companionship is reduced to salons and shopping sprees and recipes. (I wish I were writing a post to clear that air - but not-to-be!) Gotta stress it - the best thing about being part of an all-girls gang, unequivocally, is the stories that get shared.
So trust me, by your late twenties, you have heard enough of them.. You have been told (in great detail, mind you!) about the classmate who pedals his cycle along the bus your friend travels in, every single day after school. And everybody (except the teacher, of course!) in the class is stifling a good laugh over the boy constantly staring at the most beautiful girl, with a full 180-degree head-turn...
And so, when a guy makes his constant presence felt by sitting on the table right opposite yours in office cafeteria every day, every meal, without fail, you should be able to deal with it, right?
May depend on whether you have considered such a possibility ever.. (I understand this ain’t no frivolous matter.. but only people who ever call me pretty are car/bus chauffeurs in the US. I have no clue why this is a pattern - simply because I am not worthy of even the most generous use of the compliment; but whatever.. I can do with some harmless flirting once in a while: one of the main reasons I am looking forward to my US trip ;)). The thing is - in professional settings, there are really no barriers and you do get plenty of avenues to strike (mostly pointless) conversations with people. So all of this just did not make any sense. However, I can say with confidence that this particular gentleman, who I do not know to this day, made it clear in no uncertain mannerisms that he was, sort of, stalking me…
With what intent and to what end, I did not know. He had no way of knowing anything even remotely substantial about me – except that I vaguely remember having a chance encounter with his constant companion/friend (again, somebody I didn't and don't know), as he intervened in an argument that had something to do with Sarita Devi returning her Olympic medal and the way boxing judges function. The problem is - when I get excited and want to make a point (low knowledge levels notwithstanding), I am known to get really loud. So, for example, when it’s the Cricket being discussed during lunch, all tables around ours know about my “views” on Dhoni’s nonchalance while stumping the batsmen out.. or the stretch of Bhuvi’s left wrist while Bowling.. or how AB manages to create more memorable match scripts than Virat.. or some such pure nonsense for the Cricketing world.
I digress... coming back to the episode: essentially, I couldn’t wrap my head around whatsoever this person’s problem was. It’s been a while but I remember going through the entire spectrum of emotions – flattered, amused, disturbed, annoyed, disgusted... Thankfully for me, one thing I wasn’t, was: “confused” – maybe a result of having such experience so late, maybe having had all doors closed to possibilities. Whatever. Actually speaking, confusion – is not a state that easily comes to me. I might have been right or wrong; but one thing I have always had, especially when it comes to my personal matters, is clarity.. (Try dealing with your dad when he is almost dragging you to admissions’ counselling because you scored well on medical entrance and can get into a very good government college.)
As I pointed out, I honestly did not want to know a lot; but a situation like this always throws question-marks. You are entitled to an explanation! However sorted you might be; over time, it becomes like this random, nagging, out-of-control thing that’s occupying your mind-space with absolutely no purpose. I can’t even imagine what it does to adolescent girls/boys (not denying that it’s a bidirectional phenomenon, but you would agree it’s probably lopsided). I have obviously restricted myself to stalking that occurs without any malicious intent/design by the stalker (would be good to understand his/her reasons - I can only guess some shyness and awkwardness), but nevertheless ends up causing disturbance to the stalked..
At times like this, I realize how paramount frank, open communication is and feel deeply sorry for the then-blissfully-unaware and regressive past version of myself for having teased, snubbed at, frowned over, passed comments on or even just thought derisively about, couples (or non-couples, for that matter), just chatting or hanging out together. Let's face it - it's completely futile to point fingers at film industry, conservative upbringing or cultural barriers... Fortunately, metro cities of India have, somewhat managed to transition to a better phase in this regard. Let's hope small towns and villages follow the course sooner rather than later.
At times like this, I realize how paramount frank, open communication is and feel deeply sorry for the then-blissfully-unaware and regressive past version of myself for having teased, snubbed at, frowned over, passed comments on or even just thought derisively about, couples (or non-couples, for that matter), just chatting or hanging out together. Let's face it - it's completely futile to point fingers at film industry, conservative upbringing or cultural barriers... Fortunately, metro cities of India have, somewhat managed to transition to a better phase in this regard. Let's hope small towns and villages follow the course sooner rather than later.
